Friday, May 20, 2016

POINT OF VIEW

You wrote:
 
   I watched Johnny put the car in the garage. He wished I didn't forget his birthday and was thinking how disappointed he was about that.

This is not how to write this paragraph. How would the other POV character really know what Johnny was thinking.
   This is called "head hopping," and even if you are aware of this kind of mistake it can happen  in your first draft. Your character is not psychic in this scene, so you need to rewrite until you master the scene.
   You could clear up the matter by suggesting the character is guessing about the other persons thoughts.

   The way Johnny slammed the door, after he parked the car in the garage, with that look on his face, lead me to believe he was upset. He seemed as if he was disappointed. He looked helpless.  #writingtips

No comments:

Post a Comment